I am so happy.

I am so content. I'm snuggled into a corner with a warm cup of apple cider, an overcast sky and a pad of paper brimming with scattered ideas, hastily written down so I wouldn't forget them when it came time to write. But I don't mean I'm only content now, at this exact moment. I mean, I'm wholeheartedly content in every way possible.

If you've lived on this green earth for an extended amount of time, which I'm presuming you have if you're reading this, then you've most likely realized to some extent that humanity is terribly, existentially flawed. And as a result of our flaws, we are constantly searching. We never stop seeking, searching, looking, striving for... that one thing, that will bring us satisfaction. I don't presume to have it, or to tell you that you don't have it. That's not my place. I'm just blogging about my week of observations on human nature, not writing a self-help novel. But I am sharing with you a revelation that I deem to be important, even crucial, to this time of my life.

I've seen the finger point at everyone and everything. The blaming usually begins with "The reason our society is..." or "Well, this generation..." These conversations never turn out well and usually end in someone shouting, crying, or both. It's true that our society is not an ideal one. It's true that the state our country is in is not ideal. But was it ever? I've heard more and more from the older generation about the 'glory days', reminiscing about a time where everything was 'better' and 'simpler'. Were we as technologically dependent 50 years ago as we are today? Absolutely not. My parents saw the rise of television, shared telephone lines, and the makings of the internet. They saw cell phones, Wi-Fi and smart phones become widely accessible. They saw much, much more than I have in my short two decades. They didn't rely on technology like we do. And maybe that means that things were simpler. But better?

I have been taught to question everything. I think it's a byproduct of how my generation has been raised, coupled with my pursuit of a liberal arts education. I want to know why, not what. I want to know whether life was 'better' - more enriching - two generations ago, than it is now. I have, in the words of the great Uta Hagen, "an insatiable curiosity about the human condition." Hagen insists that to be a great actor, one must learn not only to face the world, but also to face themselves. Not the flattered, puffed up, image of ourselves, but our raw, harsh, brutal selves - our thoughts, our attitudes and opinions. In short, we must be able to be entirely transparent with ourselves. In an age that is centered around social media, we have become a generation that is extremely prideful. We are obsessed with making our lives seem as appealing as possible on the outside. We've become so reliant on the approval of others, that we hardly know how to survive without it. Social media has become our stand-in, our substitute for reality, and it has devalued much of our human to human interaction and communication. As a result of this, I think the older generation has lost much respect for us. There is an overwhelming majority of young adults who can not hold a meaningful conversation, because they are so used to instant digital communication.

Digital communication - texting in particular - has changed our society incredibly. The ability to reach someone The accessibility of technology has had an immense impact on how we behave. Not only is it the biggest marketing venue ever - as Americans are now convinced that if they don't have the iPhone 5, they are nothing short of worthless - but it is one of the biggest distractions to human kind. I must say, technology has its benefits, and it has many of them. Mankind is more connected to each other now than they ever have been, ideas are spreading like wildfire, and yet, we're constantly distracted. I am amazed at how little focus or patience I have come to have when forced to sit in an hour long math lecture. That's why my focus this week has been one of presence. I'm yearning to be as present as possible at all moments, to keep my focus on my work and on the relationships in my life - because those are the things I can cultivate and in which I find enrichment. And it's difficult. I never realized how much I used my phone as a distraction until now. There is so much to learn and so many other ways I could be spending my time. Budgeting time may be one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I'm trying to come to terms with our consumer mindset. I don't need a new wardrobe. I certainly don't need to buy a $200 pair of pants, or an iPad 2, as desperately as I might want them. I'm trying to be wise with my money and my time (and that's something I fail at daily).  But in differentiating between my wants and my needs, I've come to a very solid place.  I began by telling you that I was content. I truly am. Nothing has really changed in my life - I just realized that I was forgetting how immensely blessed I already am. And, that's more than enough reason to be satisfied. I am exactly where I want to be.

Thanks for reading. ♥

-Em

A Taste of Fall

It's finally Fall! If you don't already know, Fall is hands-down my favorite season. There are few things I love more than cords, boots, sweaters, pumpkin spice lattes, and warm apple cider. It's such a comforting season.

While thinking about what I wanted to blog about this week, I realized that I wanted you to experience Fall with me! Fall is absolutely beautiful in New York. Last year around this time, I went apple picking. Now, I let the apples come to me! I live on Union Square. The Union Square Farmer's Market is literally right outside my front door. And that means fresh apples every Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday! I buy almost all of my produce at the farmer's market. It's cheap, fresh, and local - what could be better than that?

Pumpkins!

I didn't publish my blog post yesterday because my roommates and I threw a fall party, and I knew I would have pictures to share. We invited over a bunch of people and watched the Emmy's. 

We had a caramel apple bar.

I made homemade pumpkin spice lattes from scratch (and kind of improvised).

And we painted pumpkins!

All in all, it was a lovely evening. 

Fiorello! opens this weekend. We're almost completely sold out. As such, this week is tech week - which means rehearsals like crazy. I've planned and prepped all my meals, and somehow managed to get my clothes folded and organized. "I've been busy" is the understatement of my year. 

Now that it's officially Fall, I can begin my Christmas countdown!

All my love,

♥ Em

Christmas Countdown: 91 days!

Facing Goliath

The first few weeks of class can be a little nerve-wracking and exciting. It's often a week of little or no homework obligations and a week of adjustment - filled with reading endless syllabi and meeting professors. A time to catch up with old friends, reminisce about your too-short summer, or stare into your empty coffee cup and wonder why you're expected to be awake and functioning at 8a.m. This year, my first couple weeks were much, much more. Diving headfirst into a busy year, I have a stack of new songs to learn, books to read and music to analyze. I feel like I'm already halfway through the semester, but it's only been two weeks. It's been an exhausting, but very productive time of work and dedication. I love my professors, and I love all my classes. Overall, I'm very, very excited for this school year. But I can't help but admit I'm a little overwhelmed. I'm working, rehearsing, studying and singing my little heart out.

I'm back to working! That's right, folks, I have dipped my toes back into retail and have almost purchased half of Anthropologie's clothes. Rehearsals for Fiorello! are going really well. They're occupying every spare moment of my time, but it's an incredibly rewarding experience. We perform September 29th and 30th - so if you're in the New York area, don't judge my shameless plug and purchase tickets here: http://www.nyuskirball.org/calendar/fiorello. :) I'm taking 10 classes this semester including acting, music history, theory and ear training, song analysis, and the like.

Friday night at rehearsal, the lyricist of Fiorello!, Sheldon Harnick, came to our rehearsal. It was the most incredible experience. If you're not familiar with his name, he's most known for his collaboration with the composer Jerry Bock. (They wrote music & lyrics for Fiddler on the Roof, and She Loves Me, just to name a couple.) He essentially added another song to Fiorello! in the second act, and so he observed our rehearsal on Friday night and was gracious enough to answer our questions about his life and the show. It was inspiring not only to see someone who had such a successful career in the industry, but also to hear his stories about writing the songs and where they came from.

I know this is just a quick update, and I apologize for skipping yet another week for posting, but it has been so busy and I haven't made enough time for blogging. My goal is to get posting every Sunday again, but it's hard because my weekly updates all sound the same. Rehearsal, work, sing, study.

I do have some exciting news, though. I've started a food blog! Follow me, tweet me, pin me, share me! http://crowleycooksandeats.blogspot.com/ It's one post so far. I have quite a few up my sleeve, though, so you can start eating vicariously through me!

Sending my love home to Idaho,

♥ Em

Back to the Square.

These past two weeks have flown by, and so much has happened! The week after I last posted, I went to the beach with my friends Dylan, AnnMarie and Juliet. Juliet has a really amazing beach house on Long Beach Island and graciously invited us to stay a day at the house, swim in the ocean, tan (or in my case burn) on the beach, eat food and keep good company. It was a blast. Being the fair skinned Irish lass I am, I burnt to a crisp and looked like a lobster for the next week. It was a wonderfully relaxing way to spend one of my remaining summer days. That weekend, Mauri arrived from Idaho. She was here for a five day trip before she headed to England for school. We did everything touristy; Times Square, Rockefeller Center, Chelsea Market, the Highline, Chinatown... She absolutely loved Wall Street, and New York bagels. It was great being able to spend a few more days before we both start school. And, I was excited to share New York. When people from home come to visit, I always love it. It not only brings a piece of home to me, but they take a piece of New York with them. As everyone who visits will attest to, you rarely leave New York unchanged. We went to Babycakes, a vegan, gluten-free bakery. I had the best donut. Mind you, I haven't eaten a donut in years. It made for a happy tummy. We saw a French film, "Diabolique". We drank a lot of coffee, had Sunday brunch, and explored the city at our leisure. Overall, it was a lovely visit and I can't wait to see her again!

Stumptown Coffee

This week was filled with rehearsals, practicing, buying textbooks, and preparing for classes this week. It seems like there's always something to do. Last night, we went to see Newsies. It was insane. I grew up watching the Disney movie and have anxiously awaited its opening on Broadway. It opened earlier this year and initially was set to close August 16th, but it's been extended, so I finally saw it! It was mind-blowing. The musical is quite a bit different from the movie, so to any theater-goer who might be expecting the classic Disney tale, you're in for a bit of a surprise.

Jeremy Jordan is an absolute delight, thrilling theater regulars and newbies alike. His voice is incredible. The character choices he made fascinated me; he was definitely the quintessential Jack Kelly, and he worked well with a lacking script, adding motive to lines that seemed sort of out of place. The script was possibly the thing that bothered me most. It just wasn't that strong. For me, it didn't do much. The music underwent an interesting change in the translation to the stage as well. New songs were added to incorporate different characters and their role in the story, and a lot of lyrics in the original songs have been changed. The plot is quite different; characters were both cut, added and changed. The storyline strays a lot from the movie version, although it maintains the "main" idea of the newsboys strike, there are different subplots that change the motives of each character. There's a new "love interest" for Jack, who plays a much larger role in the stage version, Jack is an artist, and his drawings serve in part as inspiration for the strike. The choreography and staging was brilliant. The dancing was absolutely insane. A very athletic, dance-oriented show, Newsies was very entertaining. Although I had my complaints, Newsies is definitely a must-see, and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

It's been a great few weeks back in the city, and I'm looking forward to a bright new school year. Also, if you are in or around New York, buy tickets to the show I'm in - Fiorello! at the Skirball Center on September 29th and 30th. http://www.nyuskirball.org/calendar/fiorello. :) 


Saw this in Washington Square. "I was in love with New York. I do not mean "love" in any colloquial way. I mean that I was in love with the city the way you love the first person who ever touches you and you never love anyone quite that way again. -Joan Didion"

This guy's work was featured on HONY a few months ago. Look up "Honschar" on Facebook. He writes things on sidewalks around New York. It's pretty cool. 

Sending my love back home to Idaho.

♥Em